Self-Management - The Secret to Productive Leadership

by Trinidad Hunt

The tutor went to the sage and said, 'I have to deal with a man who has a strange and depraved disposition. How is one to deal with such a man? Indeed, Master, what should I do?" The sage responded, "The first thing you must do is not try to improve him. Instead, it is best to first improve yourself"
- Ancient Chinese Proverb

Whether in ancient China or today's fast-paced business world, this kernel of wisdom holds true. In order to become leaders who can improve and control what is outside of us, we must first improve and control what is inside. Leadership is an insideout game. It begins with ourselves, not others. A good leader is one who has learned to manage his thoughts and actions in ways that create productive and mutually fulfilling working relationships. Good leaders teach, not by words alone, but by precept and example.
It is the practice of precept and example that establishes the mission making it visible and, therefore, viable. Lee Iacocca once said that he spends a few hours every Sunday evening planning for the coming workweek so that Monday morning he can "hit the ground running." He went on to say, "I've always found that the speed of the boss is the speed of the team." Iacocca realized all too well that his behavior set both example and precedent for everyone else in the company.

My Life is My Message

Self-discipline is a basis of self-management. However, if that were all there was to it, it would be a highly visible, perhaps dreary and rigid matter. Fortunately, it is not. The discipline of which we speak becomes an invisible part of a multi-colored luminous fabric, the main weft and warp which reveals itself over time as a subtle, yet powerful continuity of design. When one steps back and views this design, one sees the leader's vision in action. In a well-managed life, the heart of the matter becomes a personal realization that "my life represents my great and only real work of art." This awareness that "my life is, in fact, my message" leads to a conscious commitment to excellence and integrity, honesty and dignity as a way of life. This audacious leap in thinking and commitment, by its very nature, transforms our mundane daily activities into the very threads which create the picture of our message. Our lives become ignited with purpose and hope as our daily actions reveal a living example of the vision for all to see.
At this point, self-management dissolves into the background of the fabric and a luminescent glow of almost silken quality shines forth. The total effect of this fabric is greater than the sum of the individual threads. A life lived consciously, as its own message is a worthy life.
This personal formula for effective leadership is the pivotal tool for success because if our life is our message, it must be congruent with our mission. Indeed, we must manage ourselves well before we can hope to manage others well, for "as it is within, so it is without!"

Self-management begins in the inner-territory (the "within" mentioned above) and emerges into view in the lives of those who come to grips with themselves. Self-awareness is essential to self-mastery. A great leader is one who has weighed his strengths and weaknesses and confronted his shadow-self (the darker part of his nature).
The human part of our nature includes tendencies toward inertia, procrastination and childish immaturities that would hamper the divine part of us. The divine part has a natural urge toward self-actualization, courage, and service to others.

Great leaders are those who have confronted all parts of themselves and emerged triumphant in the battle over their lower nature. These men and women have come to see that their lives really are their messages. They tend to behave in ways that promote the best in themselves as well as those around them. Although they may not be perfect, their lives exemplify their message and reveal a constant striving toward perfection.
In every great leader, there is another, often subtle, quality that goes hand in hand with self-awareness. It is a soft and somewhat tolerant surrender to the various aspects of one's personal nature - both "good" and "bad." In truth, it seems as though one views his weaker qualities as if they were a child. People seem to patently cajole, correct and train, always including that part of their nature which makes them human.

It is this subtle quality of human vulnerability that keeps the leader within reach of his followers because all can identify with that aspect of humanity. The hidden message in this acceptance of human vulnerability is one of hope and courage. It says that leadership traits can be developed, and are developed best by those who develop them within themselves. It is this realization that inspires the community of followers to higher levels of effort and achievement. The leader is accessible; his qualities are attainable by those who strive toward the same goal.

My grandfather was a perfect example of self-mastery. He was known in Hawaii as a great leader of the church. The thing that I remember most about this grand old gentleman was the ever-present twinkle in his eyes which bespoke an inner knowledge, serenity and unpretentious acceptance of the paradoxical nature of his humanity.
He was a man of considerable inner resolution, compassion and dedication to the cause of helping humanity. He walked around the Island of Hawaii three times, speaking in the village churches, teaching and telling stories to the children of the area. Although this was a great physical endurance, his eyes told the real achievements and spoke of the entire person with all his weaknesses and strengths. Being in his presence was an awesome experience, giving a closer insight into true potential. All of this was communicated without words by one who had consciously attended the inner territory.

Emotional Maturity

Self-mastery, then, is an on-going process. Those who work toward inner mastery develop an emotional maturity that becomes the outstanding mark of character. It would behoove each of us to strive for self-mastery, for it is in the striving that we raise our sights and begin to direct our life's changes toward higher levels of personal excellence.
Five major character traits come to mind when we think of outstanding leadership. (See chart, page 32.) These are qualities and characteristics that each of us can strive toward as they all entail human relationship skills. Ultimately, these skills lead to alignment, mutual support and team work. Real leadership does not take place in a vacuum. Rather, it relies heavily on energy and resources. Leaders have very special ways of behaving and interacting with others to foster growth.
In addition, if we want to become leaders of magnitude, we must develop a receptivity to positive feedback and making criticism constructive. This is part of the "tough stuff" of leadership. The question becomes, "How can I use this information (even if it is an attack) to further my learning and development?" By turning criticism into positive learning experiences, we guard ourselves against repeat performances and setbacks.

Indeed, we must manage ourselves well before we can hope to manage others well, for 'as it is within, so it is without!'

Summary

People so often ask me how they can inspire and motivate others. The nuance of the question has to do with manipulating external circumstances, but the territory we really need to review is internal. My answer always begins in the form of a series of questions with a semi-rhetorical bent. "Is your life lit up? Do you jump out of bed everyday filled with energy and exuberance for the new day? Is your life ignited with purpose and mission? How can we expect others to be self-motivated if we constantly vacillate from day to day and moment to moment in our zest for life?" The truth is that people learn by copying those who are in positions of leadership. If we're in a position of leadership, it is our responsibility to live up to the role. Our lives form the blueprint for all to see. We must first look to our lives as the source of inspiration. Words that inspire, uplift and motivate will have impact only when they reflect the source and are not the source itself. The old adage, "actions speak louder than words," is as true today as it ever was.
At times, we all wrestle with the issue of daily enthusiasm. About a year ago, I was in Salt Lake City giving a seminar on this very subject. The second day of the pro-gram I woke up in a state of total resistance. It was one of those, "I know all the rules of the game, but today I just don't want to get up!" Of course, I had to, so I reached for the phone and called room service for a pot of coffee. Ten minutes later, while I was still struggling with the issues of staying in bed, there was a pounding at the door.
"Room service, Ma'am," rang out.
I threw on my robe and went to the door. As I opened it, the waiter sailed in with the classic tray-on-hand.
"Good morning ma'am," he said.
"It's another beautiful day, and that means we have another opportunity to excel!"
His words found their mark, shattering the illusionary resistance I'd been dabbling in. I felt like a little kid who'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I thanked the powers that be for their precision in sending this momentary morning angel to remind me who I was and of my commitment to living.
Self-management need not be a dry and lifeless ordeal. It is a living art, the essence of which is experienced as a realization that the life we live is the message we give. Like life itself, self-management is an adventure. There are no recipes, techniques, tricks, or gimmicks. Leaders are people like you and me, and people make the difference at the corporate, community, national and international level. Re-member, leadership starts from within; it's an inside-out game. Self-examination, life experience and a sense of our own worthiness and ability to create change lies at the heart of leadership.

Characteristics of a Leader
Leaders accept others as they are and as they are not.
Since leaders have a positive self-regard, and accept themselves, they also accept others in their totality. Great leaders know how to support the gifts and talents of their followers while strengthening their weaknesses.

Leaders forgive and forget.
They simply leave the past in the past. Leaders are oriented toward the present, focused in the present and aware of the present. Rather than dwelling on past mistakes, leaders turn their own mistakes (and the mistakes of others) into learning experiences. They use the energy from temporary setbacks to drive themselves forward toward even higher goals.

Leaders are listeners.
They are truly interested in people. They value the sharing and learning that occurs in interaction. Truly great leaders give the same respect as everyone. Whether a housekeeper, a sales manager or corporate executive, each will receive the same attention in the company of great leaders.

Leaders trust people.
Because they have wrestled with meaning and purpose, and have come to grips with the realization that their own lives make a difference, leaders realize that all lives make a difference. As they trust themselves, so they likewise trust others. It is this trust that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy for those who follow. A good leader will cause others to learn '4how trustworthy we (Sic) really are." Employees become convinced that they cannot fail, and follow - growing and learning about their own capabilities.

Leaders are internally motivated.
Rather than rely on others for approval, leaders approve of themselves. This gives them a tremendous amount of fortitude, drive and autonomy. Leaders are not dependent on others for fuel. They fuel themselves with positive self-regard. They believe in themselves, their mission and their ability to fulfill it. It is this healthy sense of self-worth that causes an individual to become a powerful force in a group and ultimately emerge as a leader.